A Good Book?

I am working through a book that has surprised me. It has me thinking more than I thought it would.

Don’t you love books like that?

The book is the Language and the Pursuit of Happiness by Chalmers Brothers. The author teases out the impact that language has on life. While it started out a little slow, the author worked through a number of interesting ideas. Here are three that have me thinking.

First, words create things. Certainly, this surprises no one who is a student of the Bible, but it is something that you should take time to consider. For instance, when you agree (with words) to meet someone for lunch, you have created an event on a calendar. When you sign a contract (of words) with a builder, you have created a house. When you give (a word of) encouragement or discouragement to another, you have created a mood in that other person. Words call something into being.

What are your words creating?

Second, every conversation is three conversations at once. There is the conversation you think you are having. There is the conversation that the other person thinks is happening. And then there is the actual conversation that could be recorded on a recorder.  You might say a conversation consists of a strand of three cords. You can easily see that the three conversations may not all be the same; people see and hear things differently.  And you can just as easily see how confusion can arise in the minds of the people involved. The cords can become entangled rather than braided.

So if you are running into a communication problem with someone in your life, try untangling the strands and consider each of the three conversations in order.

Third, in your language make sure you make allowance for the distinction between assertions and assessments. An assertion is a statement of fact. It is either true or not true. An assessment is an interpretation or opinion about that fact. For instance, to say someone is five foot, seven inches tall is an assertion. It is either true or false; it can be verified. To say that person is tall or short is an assessment about that assertion based on a person’s point of view. Many relationship problems stem from people confusing assertions and assessments. For instance… to cite a very real issue… people who wear masks and people who do not wear masks in these COVID days may actually both agree on data about the disease (assertions) but come to different conclusions about the importance of wearing a mask (assessment). Someone who refuses to wear a mask may be “following the science” (assertions) every bit as much as someone who someone who always wears one; they have reached different assessments.

Sorting out the distinction between assertions and assessments will help people quit talking past one another and perhaps lower animosity levels. We could use it.

Language and the Pursuit of Happiness proved to be even more helpful than I expected, significantly so. I hope that whatever book you are reading helps you on the path toward significance.