On Being a Home Going Pastor

Not everything you learned in Seminary is true or helpful.  Certainly, the Bible is both.  But some of the things the professor said are neither.  Your professors were learned not infallible.

This post deals with a topic I never found to be true, or at least not particularly helpful or complete.

“A home going pastor makes for a church going people.”  You would hear this parroted at the seminary from people who had not been in the parish for a long time or in a long time. I am not sure that there is a shred of evidence that there is a shred of truth about it—at least not in a statistical sense

For a number of my early years I tried to be that home going pastor.  After dinner I would dutifully head out to make two or three home visits.  I ended up in homes that didn’t really need or want me in them and not in the one that did.

Being a home going pastor takes lots of time.  Lots.  And not everyone wants the pastor in the house anyway.  Being a home going pastor is a highly ineffective and often very intrusive approach to ministry.

Certainly, there is a point.

To be an effective pastor you must be connected to people.   You will make little progress toward significance in ministry without building strong personal connections with your congregants.  While making annual home visitations to everyone in the congregation is probably not a good idea no matter how many faculty members endorsed it, you must have a strategy for connecting with people.

Here are some ways that you can be in touch with people, “be in peoples’ homes,” without having to go there.

WRITE NOTES

Notes get you in the house.   

Except for bills and junk mail, people still like to get mail, real mail. 

Drop people notes for all kinds of things:

• Send a note of congratulations for awards, accomplishments or promotions.
• Be liberal with thank you notes, very liberal.  Thank people for help in ministry.  Thank people for good comments at meetings and Bible classes.  And of course, like your mother taught you, always send thank you notes for gifts.
• Drop a note to people for the first Christmas, Easter and anniversary of a loved one’s death
• Let people know that you were praying for them.

MAKE PHONE CALLS

Phone calls get you connected to people in homes, cars, grocery stores, sporting events.  Call people to follow up on a hospitalization or a medical procedure.  Call people who you think might be struggling with something; let them know you were thinking about them and give them a chance to share.  Call people who you have had difficultly with and give them a chance to air things out.  (See note at the end.) 

Don’t call at dinner time, before 9:00 a.m. or after 9:00 p.m.  If you are calling during work, make sure that the person can take the call at work.  If not, call later.

VISIT AT THE HOSPITAL

People may not want you in their homes, but they do want you by their bedside when they are in the hospital.  Make sure that you see them there.  Don’t stay long.  Don’t step on air hoses or other tubes.

BE AVAILABLE BEFORE AND AFTER WORSHIP

Don’t hide in the sacristy.  One of the best chances you will get all week long to make good contact with people is before and after worship. 

Hang out in the narthex.  View the narthex as the congregation’s shared family room.

OPEN DOOR POLICY

Be available and willing to see people in your office.  If someone makes a special trip by your church to “just see if the pastor is in,” that person needs to talk.  Set aside what you are doing and talk.   Make them feel at home.  Appointments are nice but not always possible.

LATEST TECHNOLOGY

Use it.  Emailing are texting are still big enough.  Twitter and Facebook too.  Who knows what will be next.

Whatever technology you use to connect with people, make sure that you use it in a personal (form letters whether sent through the US mail or email are not personal) and proactive (have it go to the people, don’t make them find it on their own) way.

AND DO VISIT IN PEOPLE’S HOMES

None of this is an excuse not to visit in people’s homes.  There are times that you need to be with a person in that person’s home.  Be there.

The home visit is a good club to have in your bag; it is not the only one, and generally not the most efficient or effective one.  But when it’s the right club, there is none better.

NOTE:  Keep in mind that the more you are conflicted with someone, and there are those times, the more personal you can make the setting to work out the conflict the better.  Email and phone calls often exacerbate conflict—the communication is too impersonal.  A home visit can be very helpful in working through conflict.