On the Gift of “No”
“No” is a tremendous gift. It was part of the giftedness of the perfect Creation. When God created the heavens and the earth, he included for Adam and Eve the gift of “no”. He said, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (Genesis 2:16-17)
He said, “No, not that one.” This was not a temptation; it was a gift. By having something clearly off limits, even if there was no self-evident reason for it, Adam and Eve experienced both freedom from their own desires and freedom to follow God. With the “no” firmly in place there was life. Once they discarded it, there was death.
“No” is a gift.
Many messages in our culture drum “yes” into our ears. Yes, you can. Yes, it is okay. Yes, you should indulge yourself. Yes, everyone else is.
“Yes” can become a curse that binds us to every whim of desire and every wind of change. “Yes” enslaves. “Yes” can leave us overweight, tired, broke and drifting away from Jesus.
When God calls us to faith in Jesus and makes us a member of his people, he restores to us the gift of “no”.
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. Titus 2:11-14
Focus your “no” in three areas.
Certainly exercise “no” with wrong things, to ungodliness and worldly passions. The things God has put off limits are off limits for our good. God is not a cosmic spoilsport. You will need to erect boundaries on what you watch, where you go and what you do. There will be things your friends and family may be doing or seeing to which you must exercise “no”. This will be for your good not your detriment.
A second area of focus should be on “good things.” These too at times need our “no”. Across the ages moderation has been viewed as a virtue both by Christians and ancient pagans. It is only modern pagans who eschew it. Have you heard this? “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” Practice saying “no” to things that you could ordinarily say “yes”. This will maintain freedom from your desires and freedom from enslavement to things, good as they might be. (Go back and re-read my post on fasting.)
A third focus is to do all that you can to pass the gift of “no” onto your children. It is a tremendous gift that they are unlikely to get anywhere else. Teach them that “no” is a good word, a freeing word and, especially, a firm word. Parents who desire their children to thrive in Christ and in his world must consistently, continually and lovingly give their children the gift of “no”.
“No” might not be the most eagerly sought after present, but it is one of the greatest gifts you can receive… or give.