On Margins

(This is a repost of a note that should be of help at the start of a New Year. It is also part of my Leadership Pathway, a leadership development system, that will prepare younger people for leadership in your congregation or organization. Email me if you would like more information about it.)

Leave some room around the edges.

Margins matter. Imagine reading a book or paper that has the words right up the edge. Ugh! Imagine how you smile when you crack open a big thick book only to find the pages have wide margins. Ahh!

Keep money margins.

Don’t spend right up to the edge of your income. Leave some margin. You never know what will go wrong or when, but you know something will. Something will come up with the refrigerator or car or furnace. You want the freedom to be able to give someone a gift or respond to a need or support the Girl Scout who is selling cookies at your doorstep.

Keep schedule margins.

Don’t fill up every day. Make sure you keep some margins in your calendar, some unscheduled or lightly scheduled days. You want margin enough to be able to help a friend or a neighbor. You want to be able to take advantage of an opportunity to see a play or a game or a sunset. You must have margin to spend time with your husband or wife. Having margins in your calendar is Biblical. “Remember the Sabbath Day by keeping it holy.” And remember that Jesus taught that the Sabbath was for man, not man for the Sabbath. When God created us, he created us to both need and enjoy margins in the calendar.

Don’t fill every day up. Make sure that there are margins within each day. Don’t position yourself to have to run 100 miles an hour from sun up to sundown and beyond. Keep some free time in each day. You want time for an unexpected phone call from a friend. You want time for a project that takes longer than you thought. You want time for that train moving so slowly on the tracks!!!  You want time to breathe and think. You must have margin to spend time with your husband or wife.

Keep vacation margins.

This involves time and money. Set aside some of both to get away as a family. And do that within margins. Don’t plan the vacation such that you are either strained financially or running constantly during it. Did you know that the root word for vacation is “empty,” like “vacate?” By definition a vacation is all about margin!

Keep relationship margins.

When you are helping others, don’t own their problems. Help with the problem, but don’t own it. Internalizing and taking responsibility for problems that aren’t yours leads to co-dependency. Keep some margin between you and the problem.

When you are relating to someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse, watch how close you get both relationally and physically. Too close is too close. Maintain margin!

When you relate to your children, keep the right margins regarding being “friends.” Your God given responsibility as mom or dad precedes your relationship as friend. Yes we want our children to love us and enjoy time with us, but we have a responsibility to them that no one else can fulfill.

Why Are Margins Hard to Maintain?

At least one of the things that drives margin-less living is a limited understanding of what it means to be part of the Kingdom of God. We want to do it all, experience it all and have it all because we think our time is limited. We have to “hurry up and get the best of this world before we are gone.” Time flies. Get it while you can. We join the world’s neurotic need to make Paradise here. 

Relax. You do not have to experience Paradise here. The best is yet to come. Remember in Jesus we are citizens of a world that transcends time, a world that is indeed Paradise.

So How Much Margin Should We Have?

Probably at least a little more than we do.

For Further Reading:  Margins and The Overload Syndrome by Richard A. Swenson